One day, I won’t live in Bangor anymore—in a two-bedroom apartment with that pink couch I’m sitting on, staring at my Christmas tree in the dark on the night before the full moon. Daisy won’t be curled up next to me while I bawl my eyes out, crying alone. One day, this will all be a very fond memory of the time I moved twenty hours away from home and somehow found myself happier than I ever imagined.
So what happens when it all ends? I don’t know, and that’s why I’m crying. All I know for certain is that I’ll miss this. I’ll miss the peace and quiet of coming home to an empty apartment filled with all my favorite things. The place where I can lay naked on my rug and contemplate my entire existence. A place where I feel like my entire self all at once. Where my only friends are my dog and the reflection in the mirror.
It makes me incredibly sad that one day this won’t be my life, and that somehow, someway, change will take this all away. Maybe for the worse, or maybe even for the better. Or maybe not better—just different.
It’s so quiet in my apartment right now that all I can hear is my refrigerator humming… I’ll miss that too.
I’ve finally built something worth missing.