Have you ever played a losing game? A game you knew you’d never win? You play, putting everything on the line, because you know you’ll lose anyway. So, why hold back? In some ways, playing makes the pain easier to manage, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
I played a losing game recently. I knew the moment the truth came out…I would immediately lose you. And now you’re gone, exactly as it was always meant to play out. The mistress never wins in the affair, anyway.
You told me you were just trying to fill a physical void. Then why are tears rolling down your face? Why did you confess your fears? What was the point in sharing secrets? What about the night of my birthday, when you swore there was “something in the air”?
If I was only filling a physical void, then why did you say, “Of course I did, and still do,” when I asked if you had feelings for me? What about all those nights we stayed up til 5 a.m., spilling our entire lives to each other? What about the way you talked about my hair, my cheeks, my smile? Remember how I made your heart race?
What about the calmness that washed over you as I rubbed your chest? I brought you peace—the peace for who you truly are. And you only made my eyes go dim. Now, I’m left in the dark and you get to win. You still get your happy ending, and I stand here alone.
I’ll become just a blip in your timeline, and you’ll leave a hole in mine.