I don’t know how to stop being angry with him. I’m so annoyed to the point that even his voice irks me, and I don’t know how to make it stop. We get on the phone, and I want to act normal—but I can’t. And I feel like an absolute bitch because I can’t get over my own feelings. But he hurt me, which means he doesn’t deserve the happy, yappy side of me anymore.
But then my stupid little heart wishes so badly that I could let him back in. I’ve always wished I could be the kind of person who just forgives and forgets, but I’ll hold a grudge until the day I die.
I’m working on it and slowly learning how to let it go, but it’s so much easier to just be angry. I know it might not be healthy. I just don’t get why he gets to act so normal, and I’m the one sitting here upset. And you could say I’m upset by choice—and I am! God, sometimes I wish he would just disappear so I wouldn’t have to feel like this or try to get over myself anymore.
But then again, everything will always play out the way it’s supposed to