I’ve officially decided to wait.
I was in the shower earlier today when it crossed my mind that it would be unfair for me to see other people while I have feelings for someone else. As much as I like to think keeping my options open would be better, it wouldn’t be smart.
I don’t have interest in anyone else, and at this point, I would just be forcing myself to continue talking to others. So I’ll wait the three months. I know that if he came back and wanted a future with me, I would get rid of any guy in my phone for him because my feelings for him are far deeper than some random man I might go on two dates with.
I thought that dating someone else would help me feel some control over an uncontrollable situation—but what’s the point? I’ll see this as a practice round or learning experience, maybe to see if I could be with someone where I have to go months without seeing them because of their job. I’m sure it will be eye-opening.
Another big thing is that I’m scared of getting hurt. What if he comes back and doesn’t actually want anything with me, and I waited like a fool? I don’t want to look foolish. But on the other hand, he could come back and it could be wonderful—and then I would be a fool for not waiting, potentially ruining an opportunity for happiness.
Either way, at the end of the day, being hurt or not, I will get through it. Nothing I do is a waste of time. Every experience that happens is meant to happen, and everything can be a life lesson or stepping stone forward. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, and everything that is meant for me will never leave me.