Category: My Fears
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He Taught Me How to Cry
I want to talk about something, but I’m not really sure how to. I met a man two years ago when I moved to Maine, and he taught me how to cry again. For a long time, I only cried maybe once a year, if that. I remember us sitting in my living room on… Read more
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The 1% Chance
There are parts of myself I still hate. No matter how far I come in life or how much I think I’ve grown, there are still parts of the little girl inside me that I hate with a passion. I hate the part of myself that will drop everything for a 1% chance at winning.… Read more
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Marathon Taper Madness
If I don’t run today, that means I would have taken three consecutive rest days, which is the longest amount of time I’ve taken off since the beginning of the year, and I can’t help but feel like I’m failing somehow. Y’know, running sucks. I’ll give it that. It mentally and physically tears me down,… Read more
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The 5% That No One Talks About
Did you know that only 5% of people who lose the majority of their body weight actually keep it off for the rest of their lives, or even for a large number of years? I found this out recently, and it honestly shocked me. I feel like everywhere on social media, all I see are… Read more
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I Keep Saying It’ll End—It Doesn’t
I’m struggling, but I don’t want to admit it, so I won’t. I’ll keep pushing day after day like nothing is wrong. I’ll tell you my problems and then make some lighthearted joke about how it’s “just for now.” But it’s been “just for now” for the last ten years. When does it end? I… Read more
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A Lizard and Its Heat Lamp
I’ve been working nights since I was 18 years old. It’s been 8 years of consistently working night shifts, either with the elderly or in a hospital. My current client tells me every time I walk in how grateful she is to have me there and how much she hates being alone at night. In… Read more