Category: My Fears
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A Lizard and Its Heat Lamp
I’ve been working nights since I was 18 years old. It’s been 8 years of consistently working night shifts, either with the elderly or in a hospital. My current client tells me every time I walk in how grateful she is to have me there and how much she hates being alone at night. In… Read more
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Joy Runs Don’t Last Forever
Today I was at the gym, and I had the sudden urge to just start bawling. Maybe I should start with the fact that I decided to do my 6.5-mile long run before hitting legs at the gym. That was the worst mistake of my life—but I’ll probably do it again at some point, convincing myself it… Read more
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I Paid In Full
The other day, I made a post showcasing my weight loss on Instagram with two images — one of me at my heavier weight and the other of me that day. I captioned the image of my heavier self with “You’ll pay a price,” and the other with “I paid in full.” I got so… Read more
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Three Months of Waiting
I’ve officially decided to wait. I was in the shower earlier today when it crossed my mind that it would be unfair for me to see other people while I have feelings for someone else. As much as I like to think keeping my options open would be better, it wouldn’t be smart. I don’t… Read more
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Holding His Thumb
I woke up holding his thumb. My back was turned to him, and that tiny grip was the only point of contact between us. God, I used to think there was no one on this Earth that I could ever comfortably sleep next to unless we slept on opposing sides of the bed, but here… Read more
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The View That Held Me Still
Today I sat looking at a beautiful view. The bench was above a garden full of wildflowers, and off in the distance you could see the ocean, and even further you could see a hill with a farmhouse on the top. The view was almost perfect…just missing my dog running around with a couple of… Read more