Category: My Fears
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Not Great at Running (But Great at Running Away)
I’m not sure what to write about today, but I’m sure my train of thought will take over soon. I’m five weeks into my half marathon training, and honestly, I don’t know who I thought I was when I signed up for this race. This shit is hard…harder than I expected. I’ve run one before,… Read more
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Just Want to Be a Good Friend
Sometimes I forget how good my friends are—especially the ones that just let me be me. Free of judgment, and instead of trying to change me, they take the time to understand the way I am. I feel like I always take them for granted until my life goes to shit. Lately I’ve been leaning… Read more
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The Stillness Is Screaming
I’ve been inconsistent. Ever since I got home from my three-week road trip, not a single part of me has wanted to leave my bed. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve definitely left my bed—but I feel like my body could sleep forever. I did so much socializing and driving in those three weeks that the need… Read more
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Miss Heartless
“Yuka, not everyone can be as heartless as you.”So I’m heartless — but you didn’t watch me burst into tears five times today. I hold a lot of guilt…guilt for running away, 20 hours away from home, and leaving my dad behind. I come home for the first time in about a year, and it… Read more
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I Grew Up Screaming for Silence to End
I grew up getting the silent treatment from my father, and I hate to admit it, but I’ve done it too. I used to go silent whenever I felt any sort of emotional turmoil. Spoiler alert: it never made me feel any better—just left me filled with pent-up resentment. To this day, I struggle to… Read more
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The Cost of Becoming Someone New
There is a saying that one of my friends has been repeating: “Your new life is going to cost your old one.” This morning, while I was reading a new book, the author talked about how mountains are formed by two plates slamming into one another to create something massive. The two plates represent the… Read more