Ahh…yes. Yuka is in stats class yet again, avoiding paying attention because she procrastinated writing this blog post last night in order to possibly get thirty more minutes of sleep. Ironically, I got no sleep last night. And I mean none. I shut my eyes and just laid there for hours, hoping I would eventually fall asleep. I think I slept a total of three hours, max.
If there’s one hill I will die on, it’s the fact that sleep—no matter your age or how much you’ve exhausted your body—should be a simple pleasure, not something you struggle with. For the love of God, sleep should not be a task. You should just be able to close your eyes, fall asleep, and wake up feeling well rested. My brain should have the privilege of being able to fall asleep.
Now, I’m not saying be greedy and sleep twelve-plus hours a day. But a solid eight to ten hours? That should be a God-given right. I should have the right to sleep. But no…my body and brain apparently don’t care how exhausted I make them. Sleep still eludes me.
So I lie awake at night with random song lyrics playing through my head. And I’m not even thinking, which I think is the worst part. If I were thinking, at least it would feel somewhat productive. But no—my brain is simply singing. And it’s definitely not a lullaby meant to soothe me to sleep.
I’ve even tried things like counting sheep. One time I got to 367 sheep…then I gave up. I’ve tried the whole “keep every inch of your body perfectly still and you’ll fall asleep” thing too. I swear I didn’t move a millimeter for several minutes, and yet I was still wide awake.
And now you might ask, why don’t you exercise so you’re so tired that you have no choice but to sleep? Well, yesterday I ran 9.5 miles… and my body still refused to sleep. Maybe you’ll say, use your brain more so it’s tired. I studied and wrote parts of my thesis for four hours yesterday.
And yet somehow… I am still awake.
Ugh, whatever it’s a new day, with hours of tasks ahead of me. Hopefully by tonight this anger will leave my body and sleep will finally find me.