Tag: life
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Dairy Entry #whoknows, But Let’s Call It: “I Said My Name and He Hung Up”
7/16/2024 I talked to my grandma today for the first time in close to two years. It’s her birthday, and she was so happy to hear from me—happy to the point that it made me sad. I am not a girl who cries often, but if there is one thing in this world that can… Read more
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For the Little Girl Who Wanted to Die
I used to do coke in the middle of the night with my ex-boyfriend. I used to steal at every department store I walked into. I used to drink a case of beer alone every night. I used to pop pain pills for fun. I used to sleep with a different guy every night. I… Read more
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Do You Think You Are Capable Of Love?
Umm, I’m not too sure, to be honest, but if there is something I would not like to admit, it is the fact that I don’t think I ever truly felt love for my dog, Daisy, until these past two years—not fully anyway. I know I was her mother, and I did everything I was… Read more
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What Made You Think I Deserved It?
Sometimes I still wonder what I did to deserve being estranged from my family. I truly wish my mom, brother, and especially my little sister could write down all the reasons why I was never allowed back into the family. Masochistic, isn’t it? Me wanting them to tell me exactly what was wrong with me… Read more
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I Truly Am a Big Baby After All
One time when I was a kid, my little sister, my mom, and I were cuddled up in her king-size bed under her really big red blanket, watching some Japanese movie. I barely remember the plot, let alone the name. My mom was wearing her very worn green cardigan that I always envied (I always… Read more
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I Keep Saying It’ll End—It Doesn’t
I’m struggling, but I don’t want to admit it, so I won’t. I’ll keep pushing day after day like nothing is wrong. I’ll tell you my problems and then make some lighthearted joke about how it’s “just for now.” But it’s been “just for now” for the last ten years. When does it end? I… Read more