Here are my very quick updates since I do not want to be writing this at all right now… Sometimes I feel like having a blog I post on two times a week feels more like a burden than something that brings me joy. It just feels like another thing on my to-do list that I want to get done.
It just sometimes feels like I have nothing truly significant to say. I just sat here for the last thirty minutes trying to think of something monumental to write, but the truth is that I have nothing monumental to say. My life is boring, repetitive, and mundane right now, and I like it that way. It just gives me nothing interesting to write. Plus, all I do every day at the moment is write for like five hours each day or read scientific papers to cite in my thesis for hours on end, and after that there really is no writing left in me, even if it is creative.
Lately I’ve been doomscrolling like crazy because that’s all my brain wants to do… no more hobby time for Yuka. Just wake up, eat, run, write, scroll. That’s all I have in me… no fun hobby time haha.
I’m hoping I can change that soon, but you know, school just ended and now that homework is gone, a part of me feels like doomscrolling is a treat—one where my entire brain just shuts off. With my hobbies, sometimes it still feels like a task.
Anyways, as I’m writing this I remember that the other night I sat and watched the sunset on my balcony and cried. So many little things in my mundane life right now I’m going to miss, because a year from now my life will be so different. I won’t be in Maine anymore. I’ll have a new job, a new routine, and my world may be upside down. So I weep for the simple things now, and I feel bad about not being able to truly embrace the present, but I’m working on that.
I’m done yapping for now… toodles! (Now I can check this off my list.)